For many people the experience of retirement is akin to a living nightmare.
People
make the mistake of planning for retirement - not for an ongoing life.
‘Retire’ means to ‘remove from view...from society’. Retirees may find
that they do not have a single reason to get out of bed in the morning.
Their lives have become meaningless and they themselves have become
valueless.
Instead of enjoying one long holiday, they
find that their life is one of boredom, emptiness, isolation,
loneliness, and helplessness. Many loose the sense of purpose which
directed their working life. With this comes loss of self-esteem, with
those who were previously the most successful being now often the most
vunerable. Life appears futile. Despair and depression set in with
devastating results.
Depressed men are three times as
likely as women to commit suicide. The suicide rate in the general
population is 0.01% (10 in 100,000). The rates for depressed people are
10-30 times higher, and for elderly men five times higher.
US
studies have found that the risk of people experiencing depression
rises six-fold in those experiencing highly stressful events such as
financial disaster, bereavement, or loss of a job. The situation is
compounded at certain more vunerable stages in life eg in childbirth and
menopause for women, and (most importantly here) retirement in men.
A
variety of treatments can be effective in treating or helping people
cope with depression: including medical anti-depressants, and self-help
modalities (eg. meditation). However, men tend to resist seeking help
from doctors, psychologists or psychiatrists - let alone “new age”
healers! The negative associations of depression play some part in this
reluctance, with depression being linked to madness, failure and
weakness. Not only are people ashamed of admitting to such a condition,
they may have a dread of being institutionalized in ‘the looney bin” or
‘the mad house’.
In “Depression Explained”, Gwendoline
Smith points out that “keeping people occupied is far more useful than
allowing them to sit and dwell on how bad they feel...inactivity and
social isolation can influence and reinforce depression...men are often
less skilled at accessing support, and older married men have often been
dependent on their wives for...social contact.”
It can
be seen here that Men’s Sheds can play a vital role in reducing social
isolation, and hence depression, by providing normal, non-judgemental
spaces for men to meet without the negative associations of alcohol or
gambling. By keeping busy with community and personal projects, and
working shoulder-to-shoulder with others, men can develop a sense of
purpose and an experience of belonging which can greatly assist in
escaping from a living nightmare to a life of meaning and fulfillment.
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